cupcake pie

Several years ago, my then two year old niece suggested that we make cupcake pie. I have finally accomplished this. Watch the video on me doing this and how to make it for yourself. So good. Also, yay video and yay for Tuesdays. Don’t forget to like and subscribe while you are there and share this video with a friend. Oh and if you make them, tag me in them or tweet them to me, I’d love to see. #withcaptions as always

no recipe, no problem???

I love challenge videos that are actually challenges. I took on the baking without a recipe (or measuring or utensils) challenge and you just have to watch to see how that went. Ever puncture an egg yolk with your fingers? I have… #withcaptions as always. Don’t forget that sharing is caring and spread the love of this video 🙂

holidays

Holidays are hard for a lot of people. Myself included. I haven’t gotten there yet on the tales of loss series but I don’t really have family that I communicate with. I have my brother, sister in law, and nieces. That is pretty much it. Some of my aunts and uncles will occasionally talk to me on facebook or send a card. There has been a rift that I will explain later but it makes it so that I cannot see any family that I do talk to on holidays. I am alone.

It is really difficult at Christmas.

I have friends and I try to hang out with them when possible (I have made this work the past few years). I try. It isn’t the same.

How do I deal with this? I overcompensate. A lot.

I send gifts to the four family members I talk to, a lot of gifts. I try really hard to make them things that they would enjoy.

I send Christmas cards to as many people as want them (only about 12 this year) and include messages in each. I don’t do a form letter. I hate those.

I purchase gifts for myself and wrap them and place them under my tree. I wait until Christmas morning to open them. That way I know I will have something to open. I fill my stocking.

I make over 1,000 cookies and mail them to friends. I box them up and go on a massive delivery run dressed as Santa and try not to get caught. To date, no one has spotted me. Knock on wood.

I have dinners for friends and invite them over. Some come, some don’t.

I hope that Santa is finally real to grant me the one thing I want for Christmas – a family that isn’t abusive, loves me, and will share the day with me. One that I can count on always being there in the future.

There are spreadsheets (yes, multiple) that organize all these efforts. It costs a lot of $$ and a lot of time. But it makes me feel somewhat like I am doing something over the holidays. I try to fill my time so I don’t feel the void.

Holidays are hard. I feel your pain.

random baking and canning

This is what it says. Random pictures of things I have baked or canned recently. Somewhat in order of most recent back. But not fully.

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Tombstones. These started as elephants for a party but some spread too much.

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They had to be repurposed.

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Those made the cut for the baby shower and later got decorations. I didn’t take a picture though.

Yes those are all fictional characters that died on the tombstones.

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Apple pie with Halloween cut outs. Bringing it to work for the food day.

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Hot sauce from tomatoes and hot peppers I grew.

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Fall persimmon jam and persimmon kumquat jam.

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Pickled hot peppers.

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Pumpkin cookies. Also brought to work.

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Coffee syrup and hot sauce.

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Many baked things with zucchini. I had one get to 4 pounds and it made all this.

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Cookie cake.

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Some Christmas cookies from last year. I made about 900. More pics to follow. Quality of photos decreases due to prior camera on old phone.

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The sugar cookies. I guess I didn’t take a lot of pictures.

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Nutella bread.

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Apple pie.

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Apple galette.

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Apple ginger jam, caramel apple jam, and cranberry jam.

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Lots of jam.

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Challah.

That is as far back as I care to go.