feeling low

What two posts in one day??? Yep.

Ok I am not really in a great mental place and I thought I would just get it out there.

I am feeling defeated and it is really hard to feel the ups right now. Part of this is because I had a long day and part is because I am just way busier than I have time to handle. Also I lost a subscriber today and I get that people come and go but when you are a small channel (at least in my case) you feel EVERY ONE. Every single one that goes. And I get these messages from time to time of people saying I made them laugh and how great it is but I still feel the ebb. *sigh* At least I have the positives on this channel and I see a reason to keep going. I do really love it. I just wish I could get it to a larger audience and I fail miserably in knowing how to do that.

So the second channel, no one watches. Remember me being busy? Yeah, I don’t have Friday’s video filmed (or any later ones, or any of my main channel filmed or edited, so behind) and my videos are literally getting nothing. The first two had under 10 views each, all leaving in under a minute. So I don’t know if the audience is there. And now I wonder if it is sustainable and if I should keep going.

Maybe if I had more energy or more sleep or more time or less terrible of a day I would feel better.

Oh well.

Nothing to do but keep going I guess.

Maybe I will finally get around to adding my new pattern to my Etsy. It is an adorable derpy unicorn.

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