why can’t I live in my daydream?

In my daydreams everything is wonderful. Well, not everything, because I am still somewhat realistic. But the goals, they are there or at least within reach.

I still work 4 jobs but they are the 4 I love. I still craft, I still teach, I still do YouTube but I don’t work my main job. No. Instead I subtitle on YouTube. And get paid more than I do now so it isn’t as excessively important that I work extra on the other 3 jobs. And I can work from home or wherever, including on trips. It is the life I want.

I see friends. Not like now. The loneliness doesn’t seem so terrible.

I still never pay off my student loans because I am realistic.

But I am happy.

Not like now.

Why can’t I live my life there? Why can’t I make this a reality? It is what I am working towards but I don’t know if I am going the right direction or not. How do I proceed to make a job where there is none?

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