working on borrowed time

There are rumors.

A person in another department was in a room he shouldn’t have been in and overheard a conversation he shouldn’t have heard about my department. He told my co-worker. It has been slowly spreading since.

She told me.

The CFO is visiting next week and will be announcing a restructuring of our department.

They call it “offshore employees.” No word yet on how many are gone or who. It might be everyone, they might keep some.

Bottom line – outsourcing.

HR is in from NY. They have been having long closed door meetings with the head of the department. Two days in a row now. Management keeps having meetings among themselves. We had a department meeting, they acted like everything is normal.

I don’t know when they will make the announcement or how much time I have left. I don’t know if I will be spared. If I am spared, I have no idea how long that will last.

I am on borrowed time.

I will lose my house that I worked so hard to buy and love so much.

I will default on student loans.

I will lose my credit score and ruin any chance of owning another home.

I will be homeless.

This company won’t find me a new job and I don’t even really know where to begin. It isn’t like I have time to take for interviews and there aren’t many positions open in this city. Finance is all being moved offshore. I don’t know what to do now.

I want to be happy.

I want to pay my bills and keep my house and do things that I enjoy.

I want to work less jobs.

Ideally that would mean winning the lottery that I don’t play or having my youtube take off (I really enjoy that) and continuing teaching fitness classes and my etsy.

Where do I go from here?

How long before it is all gone?

I am still waiting on the official announcement to know more. I don’t know if I have to search, I don’t even know where to look anymore. I have been here for 6 years.

It is all falling apart.

There are rumors.